Normally, I would like to
highlight artwork and literature and photography on the back page here, but
since it’s 11:30 p.m. on the night before I need to send this to the Rapid City
Journal, I’m just going to do the only thing I’m even remotely good at.
Actually, scratch that. The only TWO things I’m even remotely good at. Ranting
and making fun of myself. So the only downside in doing this is how it leaves
me susceptible to accidentally (or not accidentally) critiquing certain things
without a filter and potentially leaving me subject to massive criticism and/or
heat from faculty and administration, but let’s hope it doesn’t get to that
point.
And even if it does, I’m not
worried in the slightest because I doubt anybody will realistically keep
reading past this point since there’s been way too much text for an engineer to
read. Maybe I should have thrown up a steam table or a PV diagram on here to
strike up some more interest. Anyway I hope you all have had a great midterm. I
don’t know about all of you, but it has happened quite fast already. I haven’t even
had time to commence the mass production of the drums I’m going to build for
the campus drumline that has yet to be formed.
Like all of you, I constantly am busy
and my free time is consumed by doing things that most people naturally do such
as sleeping and eating. You see if you have taken Organic Chemistry,
Thermodynamics, and Differential Equations all in the same semester, then you
know exactly what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, and I forgot I’m in Fluid
Mechanics and I have an exam in Microbiology tomorrow that I should probably sudy
for since I haven’t all weekend.
Realistically though, I do have some
extracurricular activities that I do which take up time. For example, the
newspaper here on campus that I’d say about 35% of students don’t even know it
exists, 59% of students don’t bother to read it, and the rest are either a part
of the organization or do in fact read it. So to the 6%, thank you.
“Thank You” is also a great song by
Led Zeppelin from their 1969 album Led Zeppelin II (track number four). Which
is kind of my theme song right now. Or wait, no, it’s definitely not that song,
it has to be “Subdivisions” by Rush from their 1982 Signals album (track number
one).
Oh by the way, my name is Dustin Johnson
if you didn’t already know and I for one am very passionate about music from a
musicality, lyrical, and production standpoint and sometimes I wonder why I
didn’t go to school for that instead of engineering, but then I remembered that
I didn’t want to be out of a job, living in my parents basement with a useless
degree. (Kind of sounds like a Black
Hills State
You see though, I only appreciate the
older, classic rock music because I play drum set where I always try to improve
by learning new concepts and because I feel as though there is a lot more
passion in that music than the likes of a lot of modern music. Also, older
music meets the three criterion laid out before. You can disagree with me all
you
want, but I don’t really care when it comes to music. What I
listen to is definitely better than anything you listen to unless it’s of
similar variety. I do appreciate jazz music and orchestral music in addition to
some lighter metal and funk music, but other than that, you can take your
dubstep and just throw it away in my opinion since I could make that kind of
music with a $70 microphone and Audacity.
So far I’m very satisfied with
this newspaper though. It has a fair variety of content and from what I can
tell now at 11:55 p.m. it doesn’t have too many errors except for the ones I
may or may not intentionally be committing in this rant. May or may not you
might ask? Well I say that because I could be making simple mistakes that you are
overlooking (if you have even read this fart) to try and prove the point of not
waiting to do things until
the last minute. Ever since high school, I have been guilty
of procrastinating and I work at preventing it with my higher priority
subjects. I would recommend you do the same because I know most of you
procrastinate as is.
Look, you can learn from my mistakes
or you can make your own and try to learn from it. That’s your call. All I’m
saying is that I’m writing 500+ words and have no other set of eyes looking on
this paper other than my own and I’m bound to make mistakes. So let’s look at
some things that people should ask me,
but never do or never will.
1) Hey
Dustin, how come your hair is so exceptionally incredible?
Well the answer to that is how
it’s a gift from God. It truly is. A lot of the stuff in my life I’ve had to
work exceptionally hard for (like my well-defined abdominal muscles), but my hair
has been given to me and my sister purely out of the grace of God.
2) Do you
know any languages other than really bad English?
That answer is a definite yes as I’m
a very fluent speaker in the driest imaginable sarcasm. I mean it’s bad. It is
probably the sole reason why I can’t maintain a relationship as well as my
hair. Well... either that or I’m a narcissistic, arrogant, blunt, unattractive
male at a school with very few women that would even be remotely interested in
me. But yes, I am very fluent in another language and that is sarcasm.
3) So like
the other people who write letters have their picture on like the paper, like why don’t you?
Well like that’s a very good
question. You see, I don’t think anybody really wants to know what I look like,
because if they did, then I wouldn’t be hypothetically asking this question.
However, I’m sure many of the students have seen me around campus. For
reference, I’m the guy who always wears jeans, has wavy, amazing brown hair and
is air drumming to the music that apparently severely leaks out of this type of
headphones. And those headphones happen to look like a color that would more closely
match one of Dr. Boysen’s suits from the 1960s.
Well those were some interesting questions.
And I feel like I have built up enough material to become a stand up comedian
if this whole engineering thing doesn’t work out. All I really did was talk about
myself and then proceed to make fun of it. I feel as though I should start to conclude
this letter and maybe put some pictures on here since I’m paying for the front
side to be in color which means the back side will also be in color. But be
sure to engage in a conversation with me if you see me and check out our
website
as many people behind the scenes worked hard to put forth
this product of The Aurum Student Newspaper. Anyway, just remember that life is
going to beat you down and that it’s not whether you get up, it’s what you do
after you get up.
Sincerely,
Dustin Johnson
P.S. Anything without credit being given was done by me.
It’s now 12:25 a.m.
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